Akatsuki Gone Wild!
by Horror Story 13
Summary: Lilianne's got a new life. New school, new friends, new house... new pets? When she discovers a pack of peculiar animals in her new home, the last thing she expects is for these wild animals to be the even wilder Akatsuki! Join Lily, the Akatsuki and a whole bands of crazy characters in the new adventure coming to a fanfic near you! OCs welcome!
1. Prologue

_A/N: Welcome to my first ever Akatsuki story! Well.. outside of my head that is. Blech whatever, what's important is I'm writing it! Even though I have no plot in mind... any suggestions welcome. I'll try my best to keep the Akatsuki IC. Any tips and ideas feel free to share and if you have an OC you'd like to appear/have a pairing drop me a pm!_

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, twinkies, or whatever else pops up that is obviously not mine. I do own my OCs and Soul Contract. I do not own OCs volunteered by readers.

**Enjoy! **

* * *

A flash of light arched across the pitch black sky, illuminating the underbellies of thick storm clouds that blocked out the stars. Fat with rain they huddled together, drenching the world below with a torrential downfall.

A breathy sigh escaped my lips, trembling faintly. I hated storms. The fact it was my first night in the new place didn't help. The fact the last owner kidnapped, raped and killed his daughter before being shot to death by police while holding his wife hostage didn't ease my mind. I was a bit of a believer in the mystique, so moving into a home with such a tragic tale was no joy ride. Not that I had a choice.

That's what happens when your short on cash and options. I ended up taking the four bedroom townhouse, only days after my mother and brother passed away from some genetics issue that, apparently, skipped me.

I turned from the window to study my room. All four bedrooms were on the top floor along with a tiny bathroom. A steep set of stairs led down to a tiny hall, with the front door and storage room on either end, and on either side of the stairs open doorways. The one on the left, beside the storage room, led to the living room, and the other led to the kitchen. In the kitchen under the stairs was another storage room with a washing machine crammed into it. Another open doorway linked the living room and kitchen together.

Boxes were everywhere. Since I'd only gotten everything in this morning I still had yet to unpack. I figured I had time. I was starting everything over. New school in a week. New job on Tuesday. New house...

I probably should have been more upset with losing my family... but I had always known it was just a matter of time. Mum had been sick for so long... and I knew my sibling had the same issue. I was... numb. But not unfeeling. I just kinda shrugged it off, kept moving. Never stopped too long to think about it.

A boom shook me from my thoughts. Great. The storm was right overhead. I really hate storms. Another boom... then I was plunged into darkness...

"...Fuck!"

Yeah, I have a bit of a foul mouth, especially since mum isn't around now. Grumbling I felt around, waiting for my eyes to adjust as I crept out of my room. Thankfully I was good in the dark. I found the door no problem, and I knew on the shelves right next to my door was a flashlight.

I blinked rapidly to clear my vision as I turned on the flashlight. Spots danced before my eyes and I grumbled as I rubbed them, moving towards the stairs. I'm pretty sure there was a switch thing in the ki-

CRASH!

Ok... that was not thunder. What the fuck...

Carefully I crept down the stairs. I heard movement downstairs, and growling. A step creaked under my foot and a loud hiss silenced the others. I paused at the landing. Well... here goes nothing.

"HIYA- uh...?" I had leapt into the kitchen with a mighty yell, wielding my trusty flashlight, only to freeze. My eyes fell upon a group of large animals, some canine, some feline. I had enough time to process this before the smallest one leapt. I caught a flash of black and orange before I was tackled.

"Gyah! Don't eat me!" was the intelligent response I managed as I hit the ground.

**~Akatsuki P.O.V.~**

_"This is all your fault un!" _

_"I'm sorry sempai!~" _

_"Fuck this shit! I'm going to fucking sacrifice you asshole!" _

Tobi yelped and leapt away as Hidans jaws tried to clamp around his leg, but tripped and hit the counter. A dish fell and broke next to him. With a yelp he changed direction towards Deidara and jumped on the bombers back._ "Get off me hm!"_ Deidara roared and turned to try and bit the smaller Akatsuki member, who tried to hide behind Pein.

Pein resisted the urge to sigh. His fur arched as he hissed at the others._** "Enough of this!"**__ "Someones coming.."_ Everyone fell silent at Konans words. Sure enough there was a creaking from footsteps. Silence settled over them. _"False al-?"_

Kisame broke off as a light illuminated the Akatsuki, stunning them. The girl was in her late teens, with dark wild hair the color of an aged wine falling in a tangle to her waist. Her skin was a little pale, with freckles, and her jade eyes shone with fear and shock. She was dressed in a soft pink silk nightdress that reached the floor, hanging off her shoulders by thin straps that crisscrossed down her exposed upper back.

_"Oh look! Pretty girl will help us!"_ Tobi was the first to regain his (nonexistent) senses and tackle the girl, who dropped her flashlight with a girlish yelp and begged the missing nin not to eat her. When she realized Tobi was not going to eat her, she cautiously lowered her hands.

**~Lilys P.O.V.~**

It took me a moment to realize I wasn't being eaten, and it was probably safe to look. Carefully I lowered my hands, reaching for my flashlight. The dog that had jumped me now sat on my stomach, tail twitching happily. As I sat up carefully and gave him a tentative scratch behind the ear (to which he responded with a yip and a lick) I noticed that, thankfully, he was the smallest of the strange animals sitting before me.

He was like a Jackal in appearance, but when he barked and laughed it was a noise like a Hyena, and his body seemed more Hyena shaped. The fur around his face was orange and a big patch of it grew over one eye. The other was bright red. Creepy, but cute.

I turned my flashlight to the group and gulped.

Right in the center stood a small, young Bengal Tiger. He was about the size of a large fat house cat. He looked normal enough, until I noticed he had piercings (alot of them) and the freakiest eyes.. like silvery and with rings or something. Next to him sat a normal enough fox.. until I realized her fur was purple, not black, and an origami flower sat above her ear. Most of the animals were the size of ordinary house cats and dogs. The biggest one was also the strangest, a blue tiger the size of an English Mastiff that grinned at me... I swear he was grinning! Next to big blue and grinning was a Panther, ordinary enough until I saw his crimson eyes which had little dots or something in them.

I heard a growling and turned my flashlight. The only member of the group that was showing any sign of being a vicious wild animal was a beautiful silver wolf with black eyes. The tips of his fur had the faintest red tint, like blood, and he wore a pendant of some kind. I yelped when he tried to jump at me, but something pulled him back. I spotted a cheetah with the wolfs tail in his jaw. Instead of having ordinary cheetah spots he had stitch like markings everywhere and wierd eyes with stars for pupils. The Bengal tiger growled and the wolf snarled back, but backed down. I heard chuckling and gulped. A lion sat on the counter, with blue eyes and a big tuft of fur hiding his right eye. Beside him sat a red wolf who looked downright bored.

After taking this all in I continued to stare numbly. Well, aside from the silver wolf, they seemed friendly enough. How did they get in here though? Were they circus animals? Some looked like victims of abuse. I knew a bit about wild animals, I worked at a zoo. No! I shook my head fiercely. There was no way I was convincing myself to care for ten wild animals! Still... the way the Jackal was looking at me and whining...

"So... your not gonna eat me?" The question was pretty absurd and directed at all of them. Whats more absurd? Most of them shook their heads. I sighed and stood. "Ok.. intelligent circus animals..." I'm pretty sure a couple of them glared and the silver wolf tried to bite me as I passed. "Oi! Cut that out!" I carefully put the Jackal down and glared at the wolf. "Do that again and I'll get a fucking scalple and castrate you!" I earned more then a few shocked stares as I went back to turning the power on.

I fiddled with the breaker and was rewarded with glorious light. "Fuck yes!" I grinned in relief. "Right.. now for you guys.." I turned to survey the not so wild animals occupying my kitchen. A sigh escaped. "Well.. I'm not about to shove you guys out in the rain.. your just lucky I have a special permit to have wild animals in my home..." I shook my head. "Its late anyways... We'll figure everything out in the morning. In the meantime who's hungry?" I got a few barks/meows/growls in response. I chuckled and dug through my freezer and began to defrost a lot of meat while cooking up a quick stir fry for myself.

As I opened the oven to put the frozen meat in, I nearly dropped them in shock. A pair of yellow eyes blinked back. "How the... eh...what.." I meeped as I pulled out a white tiger the size of a Greyhound. The thing wasn't as heavy as it looked, and instead of having stripes he was completely black on one side and white on the other. I held him under his armpits. The black half hissed and the white half grinned.

I dropped the cat and he bolted, hiding under a pile of boxes. I was shaking slightly as I cooked. As I began to lay out the raw steaks I studied them again. Most gave me a confused and angry look. "What. You want it cooked?" I joked, only to stop smiling as they nodded. I carefully stood. Fuck. This couldn't get wierder. I cooked all except one (the white tiger seemed content with raw meat) and ate my stir fry with shaking hands. A couple of them didn't seem interested, but the silver wolf seemed happy enough to gobble up the leftovers.

Afterwards I just left the dishes in the sink. I'd get to them later. I lay out about twenty pillows in the living room and decided to watch a scary movie. I got scared easily but since I had a gang of wild animals to cuddle, I decided to chance it.

I popped in the second Silent Hill movie and lay back, in the mood for some gore. By the end of it I ended up with the tiger and fox on my calfs, the blue tiger and panther on my thighs, the jackal on my stomach, lion and silver wolf on my chest and cheetah at my feet. I glanced at the only animal awake. "Im sorry about dropping you earlier." The white tiger glared at me. "Cmon... dont be mad please..." I gave him a pitiful look and he huffed but finally tottered over to squeeze himself under the crook of my neck. I smiled as he made a sort of half growl half purr. I was warm and cozy and at peace for the first time in a while.

I was out in minutes.

* * *

_SO what did ya think? It took me awhile to pull this together. Originally I had a bunch of different animal ideas. This is what they almost ended up as: _

Kisame - Blue Ringed Octopus, Pirahna,

Konan - Blue Jay

Zetsu - Some kinda falcon, Skunk

Hidan - Fancy Rat, Albino python

Kakuzu - A bat, Some kinda snake

Itachi - Weasle

Tobi - Monkey, lemeur

Sasori - Scorpian, snake

_Yes and btw im probably gonna base some of Tobis antics off my dogs.. and there will be quite a bit of stuff based off my own life. So far I have used my houses interior, one of my fav movies and my mums and baby brothers genetic disease. No they arent dead though and no I dont want them dead. I may include more details about the disease if people want it in later chapters. Also I will probably have her attend school by chapter three so if you want your OC in send me a pm with the following_

Name

Age (Highschool applicable unless you skipped/held back)

Appearance (Hair, Eyes, etc)

Personality

History

How you feel about:

-Pein

-Konan

-Zetsu

-Tobi

-Deidara

-Sasori

-Itachi

-Kisame

-Hidan

-Kakuzu

-Lily (my OC)

-School

-Work

-Anime(including naruto)

-Big wild animals

Do you want to be shipped with any of them? If yes name your top three choices.

Favorite school subject:

Least favorite:

_Please if your name is of a certain obvious origin have a good reason why. Also name things like __**family members, if you live near to the school/my character, if your character has watched naruto, if they have a job, are they a geek, etc!**__ All those little quirks. The more detail the better!_

_Anyways till next time! Night all!_


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: Alright so I'm proud to return for a second chapter so quickly! I have a huge shoutout to Cerilia for her awsome input on all this stuff and some ideas for plot. I shall honor her by drawing her into this chappy! Teehee! On with the show!_

* * *

Lily groaned softly. It was warm. Too warm. Her flesh was crying out in complaint as she squirmed, earning a chorus of complaints. Fur brushed coarsely against every section of exposed flesh, creating the most annoying prickling sensation.

_**"I AM PAIN! I AM THE WOUND THAT NEVER HEALS. ITS ALL IN VAIN, NO COMPROMISE NO DEALS!"**_

The music echoed from somewhere to my left. I heard several snarls and yelps of surprise, myself included as I leapt up, depositing several mounds of fluff to the floor. A wave of dizziness hit and I tripped, earning a yelp from whatever I tripped over. A sudden snarl, pain shot up my leg and I jerked away. "Shit fuck!" I shouted, glaring at the silver wolfs bloodied mouth. "Dude seriously!" I huffed as the Bengal Tiger snapped angrily at the wolf. I gave him a brief appreciative nod and reached for my cell, cutting off a distant snarl of **_"RAAAGE!"_**

"Yello?" I grumbled, throwing my hair out of my face and inspecting my shin. It wasn't bad, but I would need it cleaned. I made a face.

"Lilianne its Frieda. I'll be there in ten minutes." I blinked in confusion then bit back a swear. Crap! Id totally forgotten I was supposed to babysit my bratty cousin today! I forced a cheer into my tone. "Right right okay! See ya!" I clicked the phone shut and glared at the wolf. "Look mutt! I don't appreciate no bites unless there neck bites from sexy men got it?" Well now that I had everyone staring at me...

"Right so, apparently I totally forgot I'm babysitting the brat today. I swear any of you lay one claw or fang or anything on him and I'll make sure to slit your throat before Aunt Frieda slits mine!" I think I actually surprised them a little... eh, serves em right.

I groaned and stood. I blinked in surpise where big and blue nudged under my arm, and grumpy white tiger nudged under my other. A tiny smile broke on my features and I breathed a soft thankyou. They helped me upstairs, not that I needed it but hey, I could appreciate it at least. I quickly dressed, trying to ignore how much big and blue was grinning and grumpy white tiger was staring... almost curious. Right...

After I got dressed I quickly took care of the bite. It wasn't that bad, but I had thin blood or skin or something cause I always bled heavy.

I heard a knock and bolted downstairs, tripping and landing on Big blue. How he had got down here so quick was beyond me. "Um.. thanks..." I shrugged and answered the door.

Aunt Frieda had that old school teacher look. Pencil skirt, floral blouse, and a bun so tight it pulled her wrinkles up. Sean, my cousin, was actually a cool kid, in some respects. Sandy hair and blue eyes, much like my mom. "Hey squirt, whatcha do to get sent here this time?" I joked, mussing his hair. Sean bit at my hand but missed and I snorted. "Dude I aint getting bit twice today thanks." I rolled my eyes as Frieda glanced down at me over that creepy hooked nose of hers. "Well then. Ill be back at four." Yeah, love you too bitch. I just smiled cheerily and pulled my brother in close. We faked smiles until her car rounded the corner.

The minute the dust-mobile dissapeared, Sean kicked my already wounded leg and ran inside. "Shit fuck! Brat get your ass back here so I can hang you from the roof!" I shouted, running in and locking the door.

My face paled when I walked in the kitchen. Apparently Sean had found the vicious bitch and of course decided to pull on his tail. I picked up a katana sheath sitting in a box and ran forward, blocking the mutts jaws as he tried to eat my cousin.

"Dumbasses! Both of you!" I snapped, pulling the kid back. "Shit I might need backup."

Brat AND wild animals? Not gonna work. Especially since the Jackal just broke a plate when the lion shoved him away...

"Cmon pickup... cmo- Chika! Yo! Get yo skinny butt over here girl and help. I gotta watch tiny terror and hes trying to climb down a lions throat... literally! Shit fuck!" I quickly pulled the brat away again, though luckily the lion didnt snap._ (Deidara: Still less annoying then Tobi, hm!)_ I made a little 'huh' sound. Well, it seemed only the white wolf was a problem, and maybe the cheetah... Wait where was the white tiger? Eh...

Brat decides to go after the panther next, and I grimaced as he climbed on its back and practically choked the poor thing. Funny enough though, the panther just eyed me blankly and then proceeded to walk around with him on his back. HUH... Guess he likes kids? I could see a few of the animals giving him odd looks, and big blue just looked sad it wasnt him.

"Christ... Howdy freakin do to you too! Just pull the stuffed animal away from it then!" My buddies voice made me jump. Id forgotten I was on the phone. "Bitch please! If it was a stuffy do ya think Id be flippin?" I huffed slightly. Id forgotten to mention to my buddy Id gotten work with the zoo... oops. "Look Ill explain when you get here.. right now the panther is giving him a piggy- er... panther back ride." I snickered, and a few of the animals joined in.

"Fine, fine. Ill humor you. After I slay this Jabberwocky, I'll be on my way over on my fucking unicorn." sarcastic bitch! "Love you too" I snorted, hanging up.

"Right! The calvery is on its way. Hey brat! Ciaras on her way!" I heard a cheer from the living room and rolled my eyes.

Ciara was born a man, but yeah... SHE was a she as far as she was concerned, and nobody argued. I tended to defend my bud when people got on her case about it. Generally by... well... youll find out Im sure. We'd actually been friends for awhile over the web, but when her family had needed to move, Ciara had convinced them to come here. She and I got along well, we both had big fights with our parents. We both were nutjobs. Loved music. And of course, anime. She was a huge junkie with Naruto, whereas I was more of a dabbler. Most of my knowledge was wiki and google crap.

I rubbed my temples. Ten minutes. Just need to survive ten minutes..

**~Ten Minutes Later~**

"Brat **GET YOUR FEET OUT OF THE TOILET AND STOP SINGING SHAKIRA!**" I was about to hang the kid when I was saved by a knock on the door. I breathed a sigh and opened it, grinning.

Ciara stood there. Her blue hair was a mess, but a cute mess. I'd dyed it once when she was sleeping. She'd loved it. She was taller then me by a full head, average weight. I grinned and poked her belly. "Hey tall and twiggy! Bout time you got here" I teased, leading her into the kitchen. The brat was currently climbing the Blue Tiger. Everyone was lazing about except for the white tiger (as usual missing) the lion (currently trying to eat the tiny jackal) and the Jackal (who leapt into my arms). The silver wolf looked up and bared his teeth at Ciara. "Oi! Bloody Mary! Shut it! I still owe you for the damn omnom this morning!" I huffed.

"...Lils. Why does this feel more familiar than it should? Does that tiger have... Gills..? What kinda Pandora's box did you OPEN?!" I scratched the back of my head at Ciaras question. "Um.. well.. I lost power during that storm last night... and They were here when I came down to fix it. I think theyre from some kinda circus or something... Theyre a little oddly colored.. but.." I shrugged and put the Jackal down. "Oh, I forgot to tell you I got some work with the zoo awhile back. i got a permit too so I dont have any troubles with these guys sticking around. The real trouble is the rugrat..." I paused to catch the runt as he ran past, lifting him upside down by his ankles as I continued. "and Bloody Mary over there. The rest are surprisingly smart... Seriously they nod and shit!" I grinned as I passed the squirming child to Ciara. "Now keep the monster from being eaten while I start lunch?"

Lunch was ready in a jiffy. Ciara was great with Sean, seriously she was such a kid person. I fried up nine bowls of ground beef and left one raw for the white tiger, who crept out of my fridge... seriously.. Me, Ciara and Sean ate sloppy joes. Im such a wierdo I ate mine with a knife and fork. "So I been think of names. So far I got Bloody Mary for the crazy ass mutt and Big Blue for well... big and blue" I joked. "Im not two sure about the others. TNT for the lion maybe? He seems explosive" I joked as the lion tried to eat the Jackal... again...

Ciara seemed thoughtful. "Maybe... Ill just call him Dyna. For Dynamite! But Im not the best with names... Is this all of them?" I nodded. "Yeah. Yin Yang..." I pointed at the black and white tiger. The black half scowled. "He seems to like hiding out. Fucking ninja scared the crap outta me when I pulled him out the oven." I joked, eyeing the ten animals. I stooped to pull the pint sized jackal onto my lap, who hopped up and tried to lick my face. "Blech. This guy acts like he eats nothing but candy for breakfast... oh!" I giggled. "How about Masky? Like from the marble hornets shit? Who knows maybe this little guy has a secret crazy side" I joked. "But he definitely looks like hes wearing a mask." I put him down again and he immediatly jumped on Bloody Mary, who snarled and chased him into the living room. "That leaves the bengal tiger, the fox, the panther, red wolf, and cheetah..." I frowned wondering if Id missed anybody.

"The tiger... Uhm, let me think... What about... Wait, what's up with it's eyes? Those rings are cr-" She paused, looking like she had seen a ghost. "..Creepy.."

I blinked and poked her in the ribs with a chopstick. "Yo twitchy toes what up? You look like ya seen a specter?" I continued poking her. "Ciara you alright?" She blinked rapidly and snapped out of it, rubbing her ribs. "...Yeah yeah. Im fine... Why not name it Nagato? Like that Anime character..? Those eyes look alot like his."

I turned to study the tiger and frowned. I swear the tiger was glaring at us with deep suspicion. "Naga-who? OH! You mean Pein? Huh... yeah your right..." I shrugged it off. "Nagato it is... hm.. Stitches for the cheetah?" 'Stitches' seemed unimpressed. "Eh... um.. Im still lost with the last ones..." I scratched my temple with the chopstick. "Oh hey by the way when the brat gets picked up do you wanna sleep over?"

Ciaras earlier discomfort faded. "Sounds like a plan. Just gotta clear it with the folks." I grimaced and Ciara shared my look. Good luck. I suddenly noticed Sean was way too quiet...

BOOOOOM

I yelped and hit the ground, Ciara doing the same. Oh god... what now!

* * *

_Right.. that was a bit... fluffier then I planned... I promise things will become a little more serious soon! Especially when the Akatsuki are revealed..._

_Im still not quite sure how to make them transform... hugs, kisses, water and good deeds are out of the question ... comment with ideas and pm me with OCs!_

_Till next time lovies!_


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N: Ok so.. I have a plan about the whole transform thing.. it will be ah... unique. Also in case your lost these are the names so far.. though they wont last long._

Pein - Nagato

Kisame - Big Blue

Hidan - Bloody Mary

Zetsu - Yin Yang

Deidara - Dyna

Kakuzu - Stitches

Tobi - Masky

_Blah Blah I dont own anything. Also not sure how long Ciaras gonna stick in chapters or if I might drop her sexy butt to the curb... if she remains she has a pairing with Konan. Yes. Konan._

_On wih teh storeh!_

* * *

So... I learned something. Never leave a very insane child alone with matches and fireworks. Youll end up owing a couple hundred dollars to a cranky eighty year old for trashed petunias and a cracked fountain.

Thankfully Auntie swung by soon, taking the little nightmare with her before he could try and climb down Big Blues throat again. I silently praised the fat kitten for not swallowing the brat. I bet it was tempting.

Ciara left for a bit. Said she needed clothes. Since we were having a mini party I decided to invite another friend of mine. Maya was a bit on the crazy fun side, but a bit more mellow. I knew between the three of us we would have a blast. They were some of my only 'girl' friends, so I liked having them by to remind me to be a little more feminine at times.

I was just feeding the pack when there was a soft knock at the door. I grinned and swung it open. "Hey bitch." I greeted. Maya scoffed and put a hand on her hip. "Love ya too girl." Her brown hair was a bit past her shoulders, but she always kept it back in a tight ponytail. She had heavier brows over deep brownish eyes. Her favorite brown jacket had a bit of fuzzy trim on the hood, and she wore a black tee that said "Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Turn." on both sides, as well as a pair of simple jeans and runners. I let her in and, much like Ciara she paused in awe of my little posse, but I had already told her about my license.

She freaked abit when Masky kept trying to jump on her. She wasnt a fan of dogs especially over-friendly ones. "Masky stop that" I huffed, picking him up. I introduced her to the range of animals before going to the door to let Ciara in.

An hour later we were hanging about, watching Howls Moving Castle and trying to catch skittles. Maya came out of the kitchen with a box of lindt chocolates. "Oh my gosh you little slut!" Ciara spazzed. I fake swooned. Maya wound up and tossed and I lept up, only to fall back with a yelp. The chocolate bounced off my lip and I tasted blood. "Oh god Im so sorry!" Maya spazzed. I touched my bleeding lip, wincing at the sting before I started to giggle. "Damn... I was close!" I waved off their worried faces and slipped into the kitchen.

"I'll go grab the swiffer and get the blood hun" Ciara offered. I thanked her as I cleaned my lip off and pressed a frozen bag of tofu to it. I heard a shout from upstairs. "NO KITSUNE NOT THE POCKY!" I frowned as I heard a crash and a scream and quickly bolted up the stairs. Halfway up lay a shocked Ciara with a... naked woman on her?! Um...

"...Ciara... did you hire strippers!"

The woman jumped back off the blushing trans. Her hair was blue and with a paper flower in them, and piercings. Ciara spazzed. "I swear ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! Your fox ate the pocky and** POOF!**"

I stared as the other animals came around the corner. "Ciara-kun is telling the truth..." I glared at the broad. "Bull!" I grabbed the bag of pocky and spun, shoving one into the first animals mouth. Crap. Bloody Mary stared at me in shock for about two seconds before growling and trying to rip my face off. Suddenly there was a flash of light and I was being straddled by a naked silver haired mofo.

"..." A moment of shock.

"Get the FREK OFF ME YOU CREEP!" I shrieked and threw him down the stairs. "OW FUCK YOU BITCH!" I gaped. I knew that voice. "Bloody Mary... just turned into... Hidan!"

Maya ran over when she heard all the commotion and tripped over Hidan. One look at the naked man and she started screaming and blushing. My response?

...

I walked upstairs and into my room and proceeded to scream into a pillow. Fuck. This. Shit.

* * *

_A/N ok so I know it was a short chappy and still fluffy but next chapter will become more serious. Also OMG I have readers! Im so happy! Ill try and figure out the next chappy soon I also need to finish up some for my other works. A Slender Deal is already written.. in my head... yeah... Anywho also Nazgul Kittens may be a bit... slow...Im also working on some non fanfic stories which you can read on my Wattpad "Icekitsune" _

_Till next time lovies!_


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N: Well returning to find reads already and a few reviews has convinced me to continue this and I plan to bring a new character in and get rid of Ciara... Yeah... but I wont bring in this lovely reader until next chapter. Time for some damage control first by which I mean so seriousness!_

**~Chapter Four~**

I groaned softly. I could hear noises and banging and general kerfuffle and I had no interest in responding initially. However after a point it just became too much to bear and for this reason I furiously cracked open my eyes. I tried to move only to find I was bound upright, and I instantly panicked. I could tell I was sitting in my living room tied to a chair. I couldnt see my friends anywhere at first. The noise source became apparent slowly to my still foggy and sleep laden mind. Shouting and thumping... probably a fight and a hell of one judging from the volume and the fact that despite this I couldnt make out much of the conversation.

Motion from my peripheral drew my attention and I froze as a soft lilting voice reached me, followed by a similar but much harsher one. "_Your awake_.. **About time too**" I took in a slow look of tall green and earthy and drew on all my willpower to stay conscious.

Zetsu. I was face to face with Zetsu...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

I silently screamed while somehow keeping my face impassive. THE AKATSUKI WERE IN MY HOUSE! Oh god! Okay so this might have been cool... except for the fact they were killers! Why couldnt it have been oh...

er...

ah...

...oh who am I kidding all my favorite characters are villains... or anti heroes.  
I realized I had been gaping at the plant man for some time now as he stood there towering over me. And judging by the downturn of black sides mouth it was annoying him.

Well good.

"Why the hell am I tied up..."

Somehow this was the first question that popped from my mouth. Unsurprisingly Zetsu chose to ignore said question... and phase through the floor.

Okay screw the tough act I yelped. And I swear he smirked a little at it too.

A moment later the shouting died down and the rest of the Akatsuki filed in.  
I tried not to laugh... really. But hey you would laugh too if you seen the full Akatsuki... decked in fluffy bath robes save for a few. Sasori was about my brothers size so I wasnt surprised to see him decked in an ACDC tee and jeans. Pein and Konan borrowed some of my mums clothes as well as Itachi. The guys wore suits (One black the other blue) and Konan wore a comfortable dress. For some reason Hidan was wearing a kilt (an old joke item I had bought once) and Kisame seemed quite comfortable in his bathrobe. Tobi also wore one and seemed super happy about it. Kakuzu... not so much. Zetsu had apparently been fortunate enough to find the only blue one... but it was a tight fit.

Managing to keep my face straight I leaned back in the chair and hesitated before focusing on Pein. I knew Madara was the real leader but... I had to be careful what I said about how much I knew.

"Untie me."

Okay so demanding that from Pein wasnt probably smart either. I earned a few scoffs and a shocked stare or two. Needless to say almost everyone was further stunned when Pein obeyed! "Thanks" I muttered, rubbing my wrist and shaking the feeling back into my legs.

It took serious effort to not fall over. My legs were like jelly and I was terrified but I kept a cool head despite the dangers. They're just men I told myself. Extremely dangerous criminal men... but men nonetheless. And one woman. Fuck.

"Right then... Down to the brass tacks. Youve probably already figured out your more then a few plane rides from home. More like a dimensional jump or something. And your only keeping me alive because you need a place to stay."

Further stunned silence broken only by Pein his ever so coolness. "And how would you know all of this?" he prodded but the narrowing of his eyes screamed suspicion. I had actually just thrown a wild fanfiction reinforced guess, but I played cool. "Im not as dumb as I look." Ignorong Hidans chime of "looks pretty fucking stupid to me bitch." I prompted Pein to answer or continue.

Reluctamtly he inclined his head. "Then you know who and what we are?" I glanced over them all and decided to risk a chance. "I know every dirty little secret including those you keep from eachother." My gaze lingered a fraction longer on Tobi. Long enouh to see his shoulders tighten and a tiny glimps of the sharingan. I shuddered inwardly careful to hide my fear.

"Point is you need a place. Unfortunantly I dont have much room but I guess I can see what I can do for now. Also..." I paused with a frown. "Where are my friends?"

Pein gestured to Itachi. "Memories of our encounter... erased." I breathed a sigh of relief. "I suppose thats for the better than... "

I took a glance around my living room and strode past into the kitchen trying to take everything in stride like I usually did. I scrounged through the cubbords, not so much because I was hungry but really just to calm my nerves. So the Akatsuki were staying with me... what could go wrong? Its not like I had nosy neighbors and family who would love to...

oh... wait...

I groaned and snuck a glance at them. They were just standing there watching me. Probably wondering about my sanity. Hah! Sanity? Me? NOPE.

I chuckled wearily and ran a hand down my face despite their stares. Or maybe because of them. "Well shit... So much for my own space... " I snickered and shook my head starting to yank things from the cubord. "Watcha doooooin?" I nearly screamed at the fact Tobi was suddenly behind me. Luckily I hardly flinched. "Making supper. Yall are hungry right?" I got some hesitant confirmations and started fetching food despite Tobi being right on my heels. I didnt mind the space invasion so much as long as I didnt think about Tobi as more then the surface expression.

I didnt even think about what I was making, my body was on auto pilot. I dug out some plates and told everyone to wait in the living room... except Tobi. Which I quickly wished I hadnt done. Being alone with Tobi was even more awkward.

I waved without looking in the directions of the plates. "Hey Tobi pass me a plate?" "Okay!"  
I turned and jumped slightly. He stood like an inch away from my face, stooped slightly so I can easily see the sharingan glaring down at me. I froze slightly. Gone was the feeling of innocent childhood, replaced by the image that was Madara. I swallowed thickly and glared up at him. "Dont even fucking try it Madara. You dont need to say a damn thing. I have no intention of talking bout your stupid secret." I hissed, snatching the plate from his hand and turning back to the stove.

His cool chuckle crept across the back of my neck and I shivered. **"What a...****_ pleasant_**** surprise... someone with a bit of common sense."** He patted me lightly on the head and I shook him off with a scowl. **"Well... a small bit at least."** he added. I silently cursed him for having such a sexy chuckle and worked on filling the plates. I made sure to give Zetsu raw meat, and didnt bother getting food for Sasori. Tobi apparently ate his while I was serving because when I turned back he was rinsing his plate. I marveled for a moment over his speed... and the fact he was rinsing his plate. I puzzled for an extra minute and shook my head, taking the food over to the others. I got a couple of thankyous, one insult (guess who) and some general silence. Well overall the Akatsuki had manners apparently. I smiled to myself and grabbed my own food. "Sorry for the lack of furniture. Still havent unpacked everything and Im having some trouble getting the couches." I shrugged.

"Whys that?" I couldnt help but stare at Kisame a bit. Talking to a shark man... weird but cool. "uh..." I hesitated and stared at my food. "Well basically theres a big dispute since it wasnt mentioned in the will..." I shrugged again and took a bite. It tasted like cardboard to me. Ignoring the stares I turned on the tv to an episode of Under the Dome. It was a new series but it was really cool. We watched for awhile and I explained a bit about the show to the others. It was kinda wierd being like this with a group of strangers. Content. I hadnt been like this in a while. Even my friends hanging with me filled the air with awkward fillers. Nobody knew how to react to my nonchalance over my familys death. The Akatsuki didnt know about that however and somehow I doubted they would even care.

* * *

_A/N: Okay so not much happened but eh, its something for now. Still not sure where Im going with this but Ill work on introducing our SECOND OC next chapter :) A shout out to all you lovely people. Im gonna start listing reviewers next chapter too :3_


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